You Can Either Have a Great Time at Your Wedding or Stay Clean—Not Both!

Cake-smashed, breakdanced, sword-fought, backflipped—and still unstoppable! Sara and Kurt proved that fun beats perfection every time.

One of my mentors, Alex Stead, once told me, "You can either have a great time at your wedding or stay clean—not both!" And honestly? She was so right.

Picture this: You walk into a living room straight out of the 1980s. The furniture is immaculate—because it's wrapped in thick, crinkly plastic. No one actually lives in this room. It exists only to be looked at, admired from a distance, and preserved in some pristine, untouchable state. (Sound like the kind of wedding you want? No? I thought not!)

Now, compare that to the cozy, well-loved family room where everyone piles onto the couch, popcorn spills on the floor during movie night, and memories are made.

Your wedding day is the same way. Do you want a stiff, overly controlled day where everything (and everyone) must remain picture-perfect at all times?

Or do you want a wedding where you can actually enjoy yourself, laugh through the unexpected, and make memories that last far beyond that one day?

(Hint: Choose fun. Always choose fun.)

The Myth of the "Perfect Wedding"

Here’s the truth: No wedding goes exactly as planned. Veils get caught on things. Flower girls have meltdowns. Someone will probably spill a drink on a tablecloth. (Or on you, but let’s not dwell on that.) If your focus is on maintaining perfection at all costs, you're going to be stressed every time something tiny goes sideways. And honestly? That sounds exhausting. But if you go in expecting that things will get a little messy, you're free to embrace the chaos and have a much better time.

How to Keep the "Fun First" Mindset

So how do you keep yourself (and your wedding party, parents, and well-meaning but high-strung family members) focused on fun rather than perfection? Here are a few tips:

1. Set the Tone Early

Let your wedding party and key family members know that your priority is enjoying the day, not achieving perfection. If your best friend knows you’re fine with a little dress dirt or a lopsided boutonniere, they won’t panic over it either. (Deep breaths, Aunt Karen, it’s going to be fine.)

2. Expect the Unexpected

A good rule of thumb: If you’ll laugh about it in five years, just laugh about it now. Your first dance may not be flawless, someone might trip walking down the aisle, and yes, your cake might get a little smooshed—but these are the stories that make your wedding day yours. And if anyone judges you for it, well, let’s just say their invite might get mysteriously lost next time.

3. Give Your VIPs a Role

If you have a particularly stressed-out parent or relative, give them a job that makes them feel useful but keeps them occupied. Maybe they’re the “hydration coordinator” making sure you sip water, or the “hype squad leader” keeping the energy up before the ceremony. (Bonus points if they have a clipboard—it makes them feel important!)

4. Take Care of the Essentials

Some things do need a backup plan—like a rainy-day option for an outdoor wedding or a sewing kit for last-minute fixes. But once the basics are covered, let the rest go. Your wedding isn’t an art installation; it’s a celebration of love. (And unless you’re secretly moonlighting as a museum curator, you don’t need to preserve it in a glass case.)

5. Lead by Example

If you’re laughing off the little mishaps and rolling with the day, your guests will follow suit. A relaxed, joyful couple sets the tone for a relaxed, joyful wedding. (Think of it as your first power move as a married couple.)

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, your wedding isn’t meant to be a showroom—it's meant to be lived in, loved, and enjoyed. So, embrace the joyful chaos, let go of the need for perfection, and have the best time of your life. Because honestly? A wedding without a little mess isn’t a wedding at all—it’s just an event. And you deserve more than that.

So, go ahead—dance like no one’s watching (and like you don’t care if your dress hem gets a little dirty). That’s where the real memories happen. And trust me, they’re way more fun than a plastic-covered couch.